As a road user, I would like to personally thank you for undertaking the ground-breaking research that will keep me safe. After all, any reforms that keep the public safe will definitely spread around the world as we follow in your trail-blazing footsteps. I've often wondered why there are so many accidents on the roads, so thank you for finally being able to categorically prove it to be the fault of transsexual and transgendered people. We'd all been thinking it after all - the link between road safety and gender identity is obvious! It just took your great mind to make the link.
Thank you also for understanding how a person's sexual desires effects their concentration and depth perception. I met an exhibitionist once and it was clear he had impaired reaction times. We all know that fetishism is directly linked to the ability to recognise developing hazards, so I'm surprised the DVLA don't run foolproof Fetish Tests before allowing anyone to earn a license in the UK. Maybe - hopefully - that will now change.
I was very impressed to see your classification of all of the above as "sex disorders", because a person's gender, sexuality and sexual practice is the fundamental bedrock of the whole of society and any deviation from normality is dangerous and a threat to our children. Gay men are likely to strike at any time after all, so we have to be proactive in taking away their rights to safety and freedom. So thank you again for nurturing institutionalised homophobia.
Most of all, I'd like to thank you for driving these perverts and miscreants underground. The last thing that a gay person needs is the freedom to express their love. The last thing that a transgendered person needs is support to live as the gender they choose. The last thing a person with niche sexual tastes needs is an outlet to explore these safely with likeminded people. And the very last thing any of us needs is additional danger on our roads - so thank you for keeping us all safe. Your benevolence is, as ever, a beacon of hope in this otherwise dangerous world.
Yours *completely* sincerely,
A Raving Man-loving Queer