11am - No Victoria.
1pm - No Victoria. Mel B is shaving her pubes with a steak knife.
Screams can be heard. Sobbing, howling. From down the corridor: "Stop fucking wriggling!!!" Simon Fuller appears, pulling Victoria in by her hair. She is roughly the size - and weight - of a bacon Wheat Crunchie. Only less carby. He hurls her into the middle of the room. The homosexuals lightly applaud.
A choreographer and musical director frantically try the windows...